roots

the prairies -
the memories are blurry - mostly clear, but the edges are
blurry
soon to be hazy
eventually gone

the prairies -
the sky goes on for ever
which can be so powerful
with harsh green lightning
sundogs in the brittle winters
endless blue and warm rays
it’s beautiful
and mesmerizing but also
fucking annoying and suffocating

the prairies -
the warmest kindest
most genuine folks
family
connections
drunk summer love
true compassion and simplicity
a blessing and a curse

the prairies -
where you can’t hide
yet you have to hide
you are scrutinized
people who shouldn’t care
non-consensually involved
you can be ruined
in a single instant
by your own actions
or by a nasty
lie

the prairies -
a cesspool of ignorance,
intolerance & fear
hatred of uniqueness
of difference
cookie cutter humans
following the blueprints
without ever asking why

the prairies -
where the old me was born,
raised,
educated,
medicated,
in love
a fucking horrific but stunning mess

–

i soared high throughout the prairies, through those wide open skies
i also crashed and burned,
like a plane in the middle of a hundred acres
of empty land i smoldered for about three years -

the old me died in the prairies

sometimes i miss her

mostly though,
i don’t.

–

disclaimer:

i have the utmost love & respect for all of my friends, family and acquaintances who choose to build their lives in the prairies.
the prairies will always be “home” for me.
i’ve learned most of my life lessons (so far) in the prairies and i have so much gratitude for all of my experiences in the vast openness of Manitoba.

i sometimes long for terrifying thunder storms and cheap real estate.

mostly though,
i don’t.

xx Jules